[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Ahorita
I bought you a tiger to remind you of my eyes. Not the beautiful doe eyed comment from others anymore. It is your slash marks that you still do so lovingly place across my iris. I once met a man who said he had an aunt who mved to spain named iris. I thought this man saw my future an read it to me. It was the very same iris that you have made the process of migration begin again. This man knew my entire life and i spaced out that evening at tgifridays and had to go smoke a bowl in the parking lot to let the spaceout he game me come into full view. That night i packed my state suit for las ramblas and the cup for the fountain inshould of taken the first few visits. It was a long wait for simple ice cubes and a sida with extra bubbles. But the time meant people all in love truly making love on the streets in the plazas and that was the aire always. The late spring heat brought in a cool majestic indigo night cloud scattered sky. But iris never showed up. I aited for her at the bodega for tapas and after seeing the tango danced so delicatley by lovers alike hou after hour inaddumed itis had met hers and then i ventured to the south bound train to sevilla. The train ride with wine kept me swimming and the lull of the train had me like an orphanage. Yet when i awoke to climb the tower and pretend to be roae on the titanc of the qualquivir i found andy with don quijote the lord of la mancha and sanchonpanza and his horse at the windmills along the rolling foothills of the andes. Bulls were in the horizon but we only counted three. The black madinna was not all that but iw was along that mounside my life became a screeching halt and i fel like paul on the road to damascus and yet it was still the Lord saving the hopes bc my body died. My spirit floated off to a pand of sunflowers that lasted for miles and miles. It is here and amongst the paintings in the prado that my e spirit has waited to be awakened. It started with iris and you know she qas found dead as well: there was a tiger not to far an yet the tiger had a monkey on its back. But the strangest part of what seems to be a tale ia a man love bug seems to forget about and set his sites on a love from long ago while his beautiful bride has always been there she is still blushing and supporting him as she once promised. The love from long ago but of recent past had moved back to toledo an part time in granada living in the whitewashed caves dancing the gypsy flamenco entertaining the people touring her wonderful country. Iris died of cataracts but thats the way lve goes very hot videp by the way def watch how about nhh
Sometimes i may not express what you believe to be emotion but the shock of your words or lack thereof sometimes startles my strangled throat to expand. I have gasped for your memory but everyday it is a new face in the mirror. Kaldascope schmediscope. That is alll. Have to say about you. Boring. Kill.
Reference
At the mention of the name you take all passins you once laid upon my skin a put them upon her brest. My armor is gone and i saw you looking at me wondering and smiling an gazing into my eyes as deeply as i saw you gagong my depth. My heart plummeted to the sky and you sae the light in my eyes bc you were the fiest to see what i have only sang and wrote and dreamt about my entire life. But that broflef long encounter will remain in my deepst of memoriea onowing that you on e pcd my heart and so many unspoken promises that were words to fill up your page. You casually flng name and worss that just mean for me to hurry along because nothing rlse really comes further past this and further from the truth and my reality. Rifferences in faces and hearts not mirroring the moment that was a glance for you. You use the same words and you mimic that my heart gets stunned into exprssskng th simplest of sentiments in the most sincere and heartfelt gesture and smile. You wanted os little but seemed to promise a moment of forever but that was the entire novel but each chapter says the end ihere now and your story never really began. That is not all one heart can feel that fleeting fast breath intook to realize inhad list you before you were ever meant to be mine. Everything i have thrown my being into while finally learning and growing accostimed to knowing what settled means and just thAt being feeling free to just feel content: i was content in loving your spirit because it promised me so much more and sometimes i was scared if we could ever love in this life what some only feel in the heavens. There each second could last for years but for me i was more than a heart can bear because to see a love and feel more than a dream could ever promise anf have it with all its beauty just capture yur heart and smile. You ran top fast from me every day. Bc i know i felt these things all along but somehow i mever took the time to tell you how the pain is so good because you had the grasp ovlf my heart so mear. You game me breath. You seek to remember the pain but i remmeber the chase and the moment in between when the external things did not matter. Out comfort didn not matter. We relied on everything but our simple yet precious love so truly pure for one anothwr with a passion beating down the sun to race to our. Ight sky. So mnay nights i believe and trust you were witn ma as we feel in love with someone we woul both aim to becapme and take on that persona. I we would meet was never a question for me but your heart had a mind sending you to a love that wad never fot for the kind of love you have to give. I never really expected or assumed that we would fall in love for sure and potntially our chances seemed to be oustanding but patential chances happen but the same heart may not be felt. How can such a significant moment to one seem like just a small passing of a loving time when one hear t could not handle the feeling and with an wrapped and guarded heart i saw what love can do to one and so to anothwr. The picture can be missed but there is always some sense of illusion and yet quite often dillusional fits auite nicely. So someone ran but one walked but in seperate dirctions taking away from the love we shared what each of heartw could handle. Sorting out the pieces i came out embracing a lost vision to something maybe you felt but did not care to cling to. Two hearts but so many emotions will forver be considered us. Wr sometimes learn the love don not have to be the sqme and while we gather our minds which have been turnd and twistd we are reminded why it is very soul which you have held so tightly to has his eya somewhwre other than your heart. To dream of love so sweet but how bitter can the taste be.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Miami (Minneapolis, 9/24/2002, Cities 97, acoustic)
It just gets hard to believe God sent this angel to watch over me
Cause my angel, she don’t receive my calls
Says I’m too dumb to fuck
Too dumb to fight
Too dumb to save
Well I don’t need no angel at all
Less alcohol, more tea. Less meat, more veggies. Less sugar, more fruits. Less TV, more reading. Less words, more action. Less greed, more giving. Less worry, more sleep. Less driving, more walking. Less anger, more laughter. Less is more. Too much of a good thing, is never a good thing.
this heart had a love stumble upon it one night in the hours that the moon would reflect off the waters. leaves were falling and my soul awaited nothing yet found a voice to be everything it would need to be quenched. you saw me as someone to be unheard yet our love grabbed onto one anothers heart. for months the games and the chase and the thrill of serking more of that love only to run it off. our love it scares me. a love so pure and gentle yet jealous and uncontested. far i have ran to find and many nights a woman would dream to feel the bliss of having you near. the lack of the closeness became a defiant bitterness uncontent with the genuine nearness of you being taken in vain. why push away something you know is yours and meant to be a kiss of ecsatsy and a renouned love. we run to places we think we can find a refuge or a familarity but the reality is you are there and all i ever wanted. i ran from yoi seeking exactly what i did not want but needed to know how true and pure your heart bleeds for me. to know that you love and have security in that is a feeling i pray will never our hearts relinqush for anything. i presume and trust this is what i needed to know. we needed to know. hearts lacking the regret we need to move on to someone new when everything i ever wanted and beyond that is in my heart every waking moment and dreaming the same dream my sould rests with every night. your love i nevwr will let part from my hands again as i know how true your essence beams. you love me and that love is more thany soul can imagine but baby j promise you everything in me that is true is yours. you are what God has blessed my heart to feel and soul to reflect and treasure you i will into eternity. always yours my love. always.
